1 00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:05,337 - Here's your muffler, dear. 2 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:06,739 - Oh, honey, I'm not going to the arctic. 3 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,974 I'm only going to New York for a day or two. 4 00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:11,777 - Well, it does get a little cold. 5 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,245 - Hey, Mom, Dad. 6 00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:17,016 The morning paper just came in, and look it. 7 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,684 - "Phantom Burglar strikes again." 8 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,486 Oh, my goodness. 9 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:24,189 - "The Arthur P. Morris residence at 74 Oak Street was broken 10 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,826 into and robbed of approximately $2,000 in valuables last 11 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,328 night." 12 00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:31,830 Well, honey, that's the fourth robbery in the last three weeks 13 00:00:31,831 --> 00:00:32,998 in this neighborhood. 14 00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:34,366 I don't know that I ought to go and leave you 15 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,901 and Dennis alone like this. 16 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,970 - Oh now, Henry, you know Mr. Wilson 17 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,072 promised to keep an eye on us. 18 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:41,373 - Sure. 19 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,042 And don't forget, I'll be here as the man of the house 20 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,910 to protect Mom, too. 21 00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:46,078 - That's right, dear. 22 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,280 - OK, man of the house, I'm depending on you 23 00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:50,616 to see that all the windows and doors are securely 24 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,351 locked at night. TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Dennis. 25 00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:55,087 - I'll be right there, Tommy! 26 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,755 Don't you worry, Dad. 27 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,323 No dumb old robber's gonna bother Mom 28 00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,727 while a noisy kid like me's around. 29 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:21,815 {\an8}[theme music] 30 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,930 - And while my dad's in New York on business, 31 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,099 I'm gonna be the man of the house. 32 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,101 - At our house, that just means you 33 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,435 have to take out the garbage. 34 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:44,670 - Not here, Tommy. 35 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,106 I gotta protect my mom in case the Phantom Burglar 36 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,407 comes around. 37 00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:50,876 - Gee, Dennis, in case you need any extra help protecting 38 00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,712 your mom your pop's away, you can count on me. 39 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:54,346 - Me too. 40 00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,248 We'll clobber him. 41 00:01:56,249 --> 00:02:00,152 - Aw, Seymour, what could you do to a big mean robber? 42 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:01,087 - I could bite him. 43 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,528 - Here, dear, you forgot this. 44 00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:10,863 - What's that, a kit for snakebite? 45 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:11,864 - It's your cuff links. 46 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,198 I put them all in one box. 47 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,868 - Oh, thank you, honey. 48 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,103 - Hey, Dad, your taxi's here. 49 00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:19,338 - Oh. 50 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:20,773 I'll be right out. 51 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,808 - Now, dear, please be careful, and don't get in any drafts. 52 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,076 - Aye, aye, sir. 53 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:27,379 I won't even let them open a window on the plane. 54 00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,081 - Gee, when my dad leaves the house, 55 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,315 he just pats my mom on the head. 56 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:33,519 - My dad just pats the dog. 57 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,387 [taxi honks] 58 00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:36,622 - Coming. 59 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,091 - We'll take them for you, Dad. 60 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,595 Hey, Dad, do you have any more thoughts 61 00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:44,730 through those magazines I'm trying 62 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,165 to sell to get a free bicycle? 63 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,166 - Yes, I have. 64 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,268 And they're terrible. 65 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:51,670 So long, son. 66 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:52,438 - Bye, Dad. 67 00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,472 - Be a good boy. 68 00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:54,240 Bye, fellas. 69 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:58,478 - Bye, Mr. Mitchell. 70 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:05,150 - Are you gonna bring me something? 71 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:08,287 - Listen, Seymour, why should my dad bring you something? 72 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,956 - Maybe he likes me. 73 00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,390 - Aw, come on, you guys. 74 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,859 Let's play cops and robbers. 75 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,928 - But she is resting comfortably? 76 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,296 Oh, thank goodness. 77 00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,597 [door opens] 78 00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:19,431 Hey, Mom-- 79 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:20,132 - Dennis, please. 80 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,067 I'm on the phone. 81 00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,603 All right, Mrs. Malby, I'll get up there as soon as possible. 82 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,573 - Well, up where as soon as possible, Mom? 83 00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,742 - That was Grandma Mitchell's next-door neighbor, dear. 84 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,510 Grandma fell and hurt her leg. 85 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,979 - Jeepers, she did? 86 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,280 - Well, fortunately not badly, but I 87 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,349 feel we should get up there and see what we can do. 88 00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:38,550 Now, let's see. 89 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:42,721 If we hurry, we can just make the 11:45 train. 90 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,089 - Jeepers, I can't go, Mom. 91 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:46,993 I gotta be here for my basketball game tomorrow. 92 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,093 - Oh, dear. 93 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,629 Well, what am I going to do with you? 94 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,332 - Well, I'll stay here and be the man of the house. 95 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,100 - Dennis, you can't stay here all by yourself. 96 00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,201 - Sure, I can. 97 00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:57,870 I'm no little kid anymore. 98 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:58,805 - Dennis, please. 99 00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:03,776 Uh, hello. 100 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:04,376 Eloise? 101 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,444 This is Alice. 102 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,680 I'm afraid I have something of a problem. 103 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,783 - Well, what sort of problem, dear? 104 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,452 Oh, of course he can, Alice. 105 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,688 - Oh, thank you, Eloise. 106 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,790 You're staying with the Wilsons tonight, dear. 107 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:18,824 - Oh boy. 108 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,392 Maybe when Mr. Wilson gets sleepy, 109 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,895 I'll be able to sell him some magazines. 110 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,430 - Well, the only trouble is, Alice, 111 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,765 I've been sleeping in the guest room because of this cold 112 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,233 I'm getting over. 113 00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:30,936 Oh, but Dennis can sleep with John in our room. 114 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,272 No, dear, I'm sure John don't mind. 115 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,873 - Won't mind what, Eloise? 116 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,675 - If Dennis sleeps in your room tonight. 117 00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:37,977 - No, I won't mind. 118 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:38,978 What?! 119 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,814 - He says it sounds like fun, Alice. 120 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,248 - Just a darn minute, Eloise. 121 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:44,249 - Bye, bye, dear. 122 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,651 Have a nice trip. 123 00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:48,587 - Eloise Wilson, are you out of your cotton-picking mind? 124 00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,489 - Now, John, this is an emergency. 125 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,657 - Emergency? 126 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:52,858 I don't care if the sun has left its orbit 127 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,160 and threatens to roast us alive by midnight. 128 00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:56,295 That boy is not-- - Now, dear. 129 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,329 Now, dear. 130 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,098 Henry's mother hurt her leg, and Alice 131 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,066 has to have some place to leave Dennis while she's away, 132 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,035 because Henry's out of town, too. 133 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,837 - What's wrong with their house? 134 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,673 - Now, dear, you can't leave a boy Dennis' age alone. 135 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:08,640 - Why not? 136 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,342 She could tie him up or something. 137 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:11,677 - John. 138 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:15,047 - Eloise, that kid is not resting his pointed little head 139 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,081 next to mine tonight. 140 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,884 And that is final! 141 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,273 - Gee, this sure is a swell bed, Mrs. Wilson. 142 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:42,508 - Well, thank you, dear. 143 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,476 Glad you like it. 144 00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:45,444 Goodnight, John. 145 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,913 - Goodnight, dear. 146 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:51,116 - Oh, by the way, dear, if you get hungry in the night, 147 00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:53,485 just go downstairs and pick something for yourself. 148 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:55,487 - Oh boy, what kind of something? 149 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:58,157 - Oh, any kind of something you find in the refrigerator. 150 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,025 - Try to leave the light bulb. 151 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,494 We just got a new one last week. 152 00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:03,896 - John. 153 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,764 Night. DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Night. 154 00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,534 - Goodnight. 155 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,836 - Those sample magazines of mine are pretty swell, huh, 156 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,871 Mr. Wilson? 157 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:16,342 - Dennis, these are the worst, most idiotic publications 158 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,777 I have ever seen. 159 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:24,116 "I Was Hanged Though Innocent, and Other Family Stories. 160 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,719 Weird confessions featuring, I was 161 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,787 a teenage great-grandfather?" 162 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:32,324 - By the way, there's a special this week only, 163 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,093 a lifetime subscription to any five 164 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:38,230 magazines for $0.25 a week for 20 years. 165 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,898 - 20 years? 166 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,867 - And if you die before the time is up, 167 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:44,570 the magazines will keep coming to your next of kin, 168 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,872 for no extra charge. 169 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:51,076 - Dennis, let's go to sleep. 170 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,811 - Goodnight, Mr. Wilson. 171 00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:56,115 MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): Goodnight, Dennis. 172 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,784 - Goodnight, Sam. 173 00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,185 [frog croak] 174 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:03,122 - Sam? 175 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,057 Dennis? 176 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,926 Is that frog in this room? 177 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,027 - Yes, sir. 178 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,062 He's in a shoebox underneath my bed. 179 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,031 But he won't be any bother. 180 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,800 Sam's one frog who sleeps like a horse. 181 00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:19,338 - Dennis, get that slimy creature out of this bedroom. 182 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,540 - OK, Mr. Wilson. 183 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:22,709 Come on, Sam. 184 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:35,120 [frog croak] 185 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,389 - Sam won't bother you anymore, Mr. Wilson. 186 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,224 I put him out in the hall. 187 00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:40,726 - That's fine. 188 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:43,963 - Mr. Wilson, it sure is a good thing we're such close friends, 189 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:44,964 huh? 190 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,465 - Yes, it is. 191 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,234 Now let's get some sleep. 192 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,441 - Hey, what do you want me to do if I 193 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:59,078 hear the Phantom Burglar downstairs? 194 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:02,147 - Tell him to be quiet. 195 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,482 - Let's see. 196 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:08,754 Got my flashlight, my handcuffs, and my water gun 197 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,790 that looks like a real one, just in case. 198 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,299 Are you getting a little hungry, Mr. Wilson? 199 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,734 I am. 200 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,236 [snoring] 201 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,965 [clanging] 202 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,040 - Operator, get me the police. 203 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:38,043 [phone ringing] 204 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,445 - All right, all right. 205 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:45,918 [phone ringing] 206 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,654 - Police department, Lieutenant Wheeler speaking. 207 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,059 Phantom Burglar? 208 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,295 You mean you're calling to give yourself up? 209 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,696 - I'm not the Phantom Burglar. 210 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,231 He's downstairs. 211 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,166 I'm John Wilson. - Oh yeah. 212 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,768 Yeah, right away, Mr. Wilson. 213 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,937 620-- yeah. 214 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:05,537 Uh, yes. 215 00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:09,875 Yeah. 216 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:13,679 Car 68, car 68, come in. 217 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,449 Car 68, come in. 218 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,752 Mooney, wake up, you fathead. 219 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,889 - Somebody call me? 220 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,692 Of course somebody called you. 221 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:29,028 Mooney, were you eating again? 222 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,129 - Who, me? 223 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,531 Of course not, Lieutenant. 224 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,867 - Well, get right down to 625 Elm. 225 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:35,968 There's a prowler report. 226 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,736 And proceed with caution, or you're 227 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,972 liable to shoot yourself by mistake. 228 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,206 - Yes, sir. 229 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:44,777 - And, Mooney, try and stay away for a change. 230 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:45,745 - Yes, sir. 231 00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,186 - Eloise, Eloise, wake up. 232 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,087 - What is it, John? 233 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,455 - Shh. 234 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,122 Somebody downstairs. 235 00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:04,964 - What?! 236 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,833 [clanging] 237 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:08,801 - Listen. 238 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,737 - Are you sure it isn't Dennis? 239 00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,272 - I forgot all about Dennis. 240 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:20,746 Dennis. 241 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,214 I might have known. 242 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,082 - Hi. 243 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,216 You people get hungry, too? 244 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,718 - We're not quite yet, dear. 245 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,187 - Dennis, the next time you get up, I wish you'd let me know. 246 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,088 - John! 247 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,690 Someone went past the window. 248 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:39,898 - It's someone with a flashlight. - Golly. 249 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,867 I betcha it's the Phantom Burglar. 250 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:42,868 - Shh. 251 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,804 - He's sneaking past the house. 252 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:47,272 - Jo-- John, would you be careful? 253 00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:57,150 - Ooh. 254 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:04,523 All right, who did that? 255 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,425 Oh. 256 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,961 Ugh. 257 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,762 - Mooney, what are you doing here? 258 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:12,064 - What am I doing here? 259 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,767 Getting a lump as big as an egg, that's what I'm doing. 260 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,102 - Hi, Sergeant Mooney. 261 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,437 - Hello, Dennis. 262 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,539 Look, John, what's going on around here? 263 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,776 Did you or did you not call up and report a prowler? 264 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,444 - Uh, well, uh, yes, I did. 265 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,079 But it turned out to be a mistake. 266 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,414 - A mistake, he says. 267 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,783 what am I supposed to do with this lump on my head? 268 00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,986 - Would you like some coffee, Sergeant Mooney? 269 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,119 - No thanks, Mrs. Wilson. 270 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,120 - Oh. 271 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,155 Uh, you come inside with me, Dennis. 272 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:49,101 [frog croak] 273 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,104 - Oh, for Pete's sake. 274 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:59,111 Get in there and be quiet. 275 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,546 [frog croak] 276 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:01,547 - Uh. 277 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:02,548 That does it. 278 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:22,635 Ouch! 279 00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:42,555 [frog croak] 280 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:56,535 - Jeepers, Sam. 281 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,104 How did you get in there? 282 00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:00,040 [frog croak] 283 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:09,949 - Now stay in there. 284 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:10,950 You understand? 285 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,456 [clanging] 286 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,961 - Uh-oh, the Phantom Burglar. 287 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,665 Mr. Wilson? 288 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:34,074 Mr. Wils-- jeepers, betcha he's got Mr. Wilson. 289 00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,268 All right, who's ever there, stick 'em up! 290 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,305 - What? Uh, ow. 291 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,339 - Don't try and get away. 292 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,841 - Wh-- who's that? 293 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:12,177 - Jeepers, is that you, Mr. Wilson? 294 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,146 - Oh, Dennis, for heaven's sake, stop 295 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:17,050 flashing that light in my face and go back to bed. 296 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:23,055 - Gee, I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson. 297 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,723 I thought you were the Phantom Burglar. 298 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,860 - I might just as well be, for all the sleep I'm getting. 299 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:30,629 - Wasn't your bed upstairs comfortable, Mr. Wilson? 300 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,197 - Yes, it's comfortable. 301 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:35,167 I'm just afraid of sleeping in high places. 302 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,771 Now please go to bed. 303 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,905 - Hey! 304 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,607 There's one magazine I forgot to show ya. 305 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,676 It's called The Mountain Climber's Gazette. 306 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:47,379 - All right, all right, you win. 307 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,482 I'll take one magazine from you for six months, 308 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:54,586 if you'll promise not to bother me for the rest of the night. 309 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:55,521 - Oh boy. 310 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:56,689 Thanks, Mr. Wilson. 311 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:57,690 Which magazine? 312 00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,091 - I don't care. 313 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,326 You pick one out and surprise me. 314 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:05,464 And now goodnight, for the 100th time. 315 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,266 - Goodnight, Mr. Wilson. 316 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:10,369 And don't you worry, I won't bother you again tonight 317 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:13,540 unless I hear funny noises or you call out for help. 318 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,214 [dennis' footsteps upstairs] 319 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,419 - Is everything all right, dear? 320 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,388 - Everything's swell, Mrs. Wilson. 321 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:32,091 Except poor Mr. Wilson's having one of those sleepless nights 322 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,092 we all go through at times. 323 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,095 He's trying to sleep on the sofa. 324 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:49,241 - Dennis, I thought I-- 325 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:52,344 - John Wilson, now what do you think you're doing? 326 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,114 - Eloise, I have decided to go to the Mitchell's. 327 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,415 - To the Mitchell's? 328 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,883 - That's right, to the Mitchell's. 329 00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:01,353 Since Dennis insists on sleeping in my room, I'm going over 330 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,187 and sleep in his. 331 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,522 - John, really. 332 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,290 - Don't try to stop me, Eloise. 333 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,927 I'm going to get a night's sleep if it kills me. 334 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:11,064 - Oh, John. Ugh. 335 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,350 - Alligator, blech. 336 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:37,824 Trapped. 337 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,225 Oh, no. 338 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:35,514 - Golly. 339 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,050 There's somebody in my room. 340 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,062 Operator, get me the police. 341 00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:53,866 [phone ringing] - All right. 342 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:54,834 All right. 343 00:18:57,771 --> 00:18:58,872 Lieutenant Wheeler speaking. 344 00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:04,443 Are you sure? 345 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:08,213 Yeah, 627 Elm. 346 00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,181 Hey, wait a minute. 347 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:12,217 Isn't that-- oh, I see. 348 00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,486 It's right next door to the-- the Wilson house. 349 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,187 Yeah. 350 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,455 All right, little boy. 351 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,258 Just don't do anything until somebody gets there. 352 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:25,597 Car 68, car 68, come in. 353 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,765 Wake up, Mooney. 354 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,467 We've got a Phantom Burglar report. 355 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,669 - Oh, not again. 356 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,283 - Psst, Sergeant Mooney. 357 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,251 - Dennis, don't do that. 358 00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:47,454 What's this about a phantom burglar? 359 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,060 - Yeah, somebody up there, all right. 360 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,628 - It can't be my folks, either. 361 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:57,797 They're both out of town. 362 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,201 - Yeah, the MO fits. 363 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,435 Skeleton key still in the lock. 364 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,771 - How can you tell it's a skeleton key? 365 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,073 - Experience, my boy. Experience. 366 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,182 Now, you stay behind. 367 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:17,983 Keep out of my way. 368 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:21,153 This is police work. 369 00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:24,656 [footsteps] 370 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:25,658 - Phantom Burglar. 371 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,073 - We got you surrounded. 372 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:41,940 Close in on him, men. 373 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,742 [whistles] 374 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:44,677 [clutter falling] 375 00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:48,047 - Don't you move! 376 00:20:48,048 --> 00:20:50,949 - Ah, well, well, if it isn't John Wilson, 377 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:54,486 public nighttime nuisance number one. 378 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,488 - Smile, John, you're on "Candid Camera." 379 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,924 [laughs] 380 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,426 - Oh, Mooney. 381 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:03,395 [phone rings] 382 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,064 - I wonder who that is. 383 00:21:05,065 --> 00:21:12,137 [phone rings] 384 00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:12,972 - Hello? 385 00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:15,107 Oh, oh, it's you, Eloise. 386 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,476 - Dear, is Dennis over there? 387 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:18,777 - Yes, he is. 388 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,879 Also our friend Sergeant Mooney. 389 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,781 - Oh, thank goodness. 390 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:26,251 When I peeked in his room and found his bed empty, I-- what's 391 00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:27,886 Sergeant Mooney doing over there? 392 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,621 - Well, haven't you heard? 393 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,758 We're having a pajama party. 394 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,126 - Dear, may I suggest-- 395 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:35,562 [bump] 396 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:41,801 - [gasps] John, I think there's somebody downstairs. 397 00:21:45,105 --> 00:21:46,672 - Lock yourself in your room, Eloise. 398 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:49,009 We'll be right over. 399 00:21:49,109 --> 00:21:50,943 Mooney, the Phantom Burglar is at my house. 400 00:21:50,944 --> 00:21:58,817 - There's somebody 401 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,252 I can see his light. 402 00:22:00,253 --> 00:22:01,420 - Let's nab him. 403 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:02,888 - You stay out here, Dennis. 404 00:22:02,889 --> 00:22:04,089 - That's right, Dennis. 405 00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:06,960 The man in there is no doubt a vicious criminal. 406 00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:07,593 - Here. 407 00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:08,061 Here are my keys. 408 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,432 Waiting for him to die of old age? 409 00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:14,266 - Don't rush me. 410 00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:16,468 Don't rush me. 411 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:17,736 - You got your gun? 412 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,705 - Of course I got my gun. 413 00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:21,675 I wish I had the bullets for it. 414 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:42,227 - My coin collection. - Stop in the name of the law! 415 00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:43,095 Come on, John. 416 00:22:43,096 --> 00:22:44,530 Let's grab him. 417 00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:45,264 - Here, here. 418 00:22:45,265 --> 00:22:45,999 There he goes. 419 00:22:46,099 --> 00:22:47,000 All right. 420 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:51,470 [yelling and banging] - Come on. 421 00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:54,473 Somebody turn on the lights. 422 00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:57,109 - May I have the next dance? 423 00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:58,110 - Mooney. 424 00:22:58,111 --> 00:23:00,947 I might have known. 425 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,848 - Stop shoving. 426 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,416 For heaven's sake. 427 00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:05,918 - Dennis. 428 00:23:05,919 --> 00:23:06,752 - He caught him. 429 00:23:06,753 --> 00:23:08,053 - He caught the Phantom Burglar. 430 00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:11,123 - With my water gun. 431 00:23:11,124 --> 00:23:12,491 - Dennis. 432 00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:13,625 - A water gun. 433 00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:14,827 Caught by a little boy with a water gun. 434 00:23:14,828 --> 00:23:16,462 Oh, I should live so long. 435 00:23:16,463 --> 00:23:18,597 - You will, about 20 years in Alcatraz. 436 00:23:18,598 --> 00:23:20,833 I'll take over now, Dennis. 437 00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:23,369 - Are you really the Phantom Burglar? 438 00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:25,137 - Oh, for goodness sake. 439 00:23:25,138 --> 00:23:26,071 Can't you tell? 440 00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:28,073 - Come on along. 441 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:30,476 I forgot my cuffs. 442 00:23:30,477 --> 00:23:32,077 - It figures. 443 00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,746 - For goodness sake, what kind of a police department 444 00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:35,147 are you running in this town? No handcuffs? 445 00:23:35,148 --> 00:23:36,348 Children with water guns? 446 00:23:36,349 --> 00:23:39,385 - Now see here, you, whatever your name is-- 447 00:23:39,386 --> 00:23:43,088 - My friends call me Horace. 448 00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:44,523 - Here you are, Sergeant Mooney. 449 00:23:44,524 --> 00:23:46,091 You can use mine. 450 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:48,627 - Little boy, haven't you caused enough trouble for one night? 451 00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:50,596 - Thanks, Dennis. 452 00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:52,464 John, I have to drive, so I'm going 453 00:23:52,465 --> 00:23:54,933 to handcuff this fella to you so he won't get away 454 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,669 while I'm bringing him in. 455 00:23:56,670 --> 00:23:58,504 - Me? Why me? 456 00:23:58,505 --> 00:24:00,506 - Now, if the sergeant needs your help, dear. 457 00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:02,408 - I'll do it, Sergeant Mooney. 458 00:24:02,409 --> 00:24:03,709 - Well, for heaven's sake, come on. 459 00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,344 Don't you people realize I haven't had a wink of sleep 460 00:24:05,345 --> 00:24:06,345 yet? 461 00:24:06,346 --> 00:24:07,880 - All right. 462 00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:10,049 Anything so we can all get back to bed. 463 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:12,651 - Hey, Sergeant Mooney, I just thought of something. 464 00:24:12,652 --> 00:24:14,620 - Here, now he won't get away. 465 00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:17,489 - He won't, but neither will Mr. Wilson. 466 00:24:17,490 --> 00:24:20,292 - What are you talking about, Dennis? 467 00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:23,896 - I just remembered, I don't have a key for the handcuffs. 468 00:24:23,897 --> 00:24:26,231 - Oh, no. 469 00:24:26,232 --> 00:24:28,567 - [LAUGHS 470 00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:30,469 - Amateurs, hmm. 471 00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:33,105 I just knew something like this would happen. 472 00:24:33,106 --> 00:24:35,607 - Not to worry, Mr. Wilson, I'll stay here 473 00:24:35,608 --> 00:24:38,544 and take care of your house and mine, too, until you get out 474 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:41,080 of jail, no matter how long it takes ya. 475 00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:42,982 - Oh, for crying out loud. 476 00:24:51,091 --> 00:25:11,111 [theme music] 477 00:25:28,962 --> 00:25:31,130 ANNOUNCER NARRATING: This has been a Screen Gems film 478 00:25:31,131 --> 00:25:32,665 production.